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“Finding me”

Hello friends, life has been a bit challenging in the last few weeks, hence i had to pull off the blooging course.  However, I have written a Toast Master speech and would love to hear your input……

My journey to a better me

John Homer Miller – Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you  as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you  as by the way your mind looks at what happens.

Madame Chair, fellow Toastmasters and honoured guest.  By this speech, I am hoping to start a serious journey to find my purpose and be the person I was meant to be.   I am trying to learn how to speak out  on things that are important to me, to stop hiding behind a mask, trying to discover my voice and particularly help immigrant women like me realize that it is ok to do something just for you that gives you pleasure, simple things, like taking time to read a book, listening to your favourite music, expecting others to clean up after themselves, that you are loved even if you are not needed  and to recognize  that confident speaking sends out ripples and waves of positive energy that transforms lives.

I am the youngest of three children with a huge age gap between my siblings and I.  Growing up whenever I went into the kitchen and asked my mum how I could help, she would say, no you better leave, you will only annoy us and make a mess, go play, go study, go do anything, but do not stay in the kitchen.  This was good and bad, on looking back, I feel, this constant dismsal gave me a complex that I was never good enough, to do anything responsible.  I feel I still carry this stigma often wondering my worth, my value, my contribution and often feel I am not good enough.

Further, I grew up in a culture where women were seen and not heard, where you were afraid to speak up because you fear being ignored or criticized. Hence you grew up to be quietly polite or politely quiet, feeling and looking like second class citizen when in fact you were uniquely special.

For some of us, humility was such a part of our upbringing we absorbed acting timid, reluctant to ask for anything.  After living in Canada now for a while, I have come to realize that I no longer want to be timid I want to break free  I want to step bravely forward to speak, to honor the courage of women and honor my life and the wisdom that I have acquired through meeting the many challenges that life has thrown my way to make me truly amazing.

In my quest to better myself, I have tried to surround myself with various authors, teachers who have excelled in their journey of making a difference in the wold and touching people’s lives.  My first awakening came when I read Wayne Dyer’s book titled Inspiration – your ultimate calling – The synopsis and ultimately the book has become one of my favourites.  To give you an insight it states, “There’s a voice in the universe calling each of us to remember our purpose—our reason for being here now, in this world of impermanence. The voice whispers, shouts, and sings to us that this experience of being in form, in space and time, knowing life and death, has meaning. The voice is that of inspiration, which is within each and every one of us”.

My second favourite author is Louise Hay and her book you can heal your life  has made me aware of positive self-talk, and how you can change your life by changing your thoughts. Your thoughts determine your experience. You attract what you think about, whether you want it or not.  Like karma, the law of attraction is not about blame or guilt — it’s just a simple reaction.  What you focus your attention on tends to increase.

My third author is Dr. Christine Northrup.  Who stresses in her book Goddesses Never Age – that aging is inevitable but getting old is optional.  We each have the power to be an ageless goddess and to be a living breathing embodiment of joyful, ageless ,no matter what has gone before.

As the saying goes what you seek is also seeing you.  So lets ask ourselves, who do you really want to be?  Let’s view our life as a cymbal that reverberates. A reverberation is an echoing sound. When you bang on a big piece of metal, you can hear the reverberation even after you stop banging. The positive /negative feelings I bring about when I interact with every person I meet, will in turn create a positive or negative reverberation on earth, hence it is important to be conscious of our choices.

I am trying also strongly to focus on the positive, to see the good in people, For instance when I come across a difficult person, I try to think like the actor David Hayman, who once said while describing someone who brought lots of conflict into the room with him, “He’s an angel of God—cleverly disguised as an ass.” So, which part of a person are you willing to see?

Hence fellow toastmasters let be Resonant in the words of Marianne Williamson  “We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.”



Dr. Christiane Northrup

wow!!!! all you women out there you have to listen to this.


Some interesting insights to living

Hello friends, its been a very busy past few days, with my son back home after finishing university, kids exams, work and all.  I have actually missed blogging and missed reading all your wonderful posts.  Had a birthday recently and am feeling really pensive, really grateful and thankful, but also a little sad because I have let life just takeover – some years are a blur and seemed to have just melted away.

I ask myself what can i do differently today to be a better person.?  I am working on me, trying to find the answers.  Funny, how life points you in the direction you need.  Came across these two posts


Day Thirteen: Serially Found

On day four, you wrote a post about losing something. Today’s Prompt: write about finding something.

Today’s twist: if you wrote day four’s post as the first in a series, use this one as the second installment — loosely defined.

Hello my fellow bloggers, i had shared a poem by  I liked this poem, because it really resonated with me, and to some extent so very true.

Today, i would like to share my journey of growth, of finding myself.

For my 47th birthday, my friend gave me a book by Wayne Dyre call Inspiration, that was the turning point in my life, that book lead me to read You Can Heal Your Life by Louis Hay and then various books by Marianne Williamson and Cheryl Richardson. Life has taken me down various paths over the years, some really happy, some sad, but in my 47th year i promised myself, that each day i would do something small to make me happy.  Be it a walk, drink a hot cup of tea, read a book.  Often in the past i never did anything for myself, without the kids in tow, but now i have realized to have simple pleasures, something that just brings a smile to my face and to know that i have done it just for me, not to please anyone, but just because i am working on me.  I am pleased to report that I know I have a long journey ahead of me and there are many things I have to learn, but as they say a long journey starts with the first step.  Be proud of who are, hold your head high, smile and give thanks because you are precious and so worth it.  Find yourself, love yourself.  Cheers!

Day Eleven: Size Matters (In Sentences)

Today’s Prompt: Where did you live when you were 12 years old?

Which town, city, and country? Was it a house or an apartment? A boarding school or foster home? An airstream or an RV? Who lived there with you?

I grew up in beautiful Mumbai, which is a part of Maharashtra, India. Mumbai (/mʊmˈb/; also known as Bombay) is the capital city of the Indian state of Maharashtra. It is the most populous city in India, most populous metropolitan area in India, and the eighth most populous city in the world, with an estimated city population of 18.4 million and metropolitan area population of 20.7 million as of 2011.  Check for more information.

As a child we lived in an apartment building, we lived on the second floor which had big balconies.  These balconies served so many purposes – we could play hide and seek, socialize with our neighbours, play cards, dry our spices in the sun and if nothing else, watch the people and the traffic go by on the busy street.  In the close vicinity we had an Indian Oil company where trucks and bullock carts got their oil supplies.  As kids we would often play the numbers games, “how may red trucks passed by in an hour, how many green trucks, and how many bullock carts”.  There was also a huge hill in front of our apartment, this was scattered with slum dwellings but when you climbed the steps to the top of the hill the scenery was break taking, you could see the refineries in the distance.  It was a happy place to be, the market was nearby, and there were food vendors and ice cream trucks.

There was a Muslim mosque nearby, where prayers were offered 5 times a day over the loud speaker.   It was a fun place, a happy place to grow up in.  At Christmas we each took turns baking Christmas goodies and then sharing them with each other.  It was a life that was so very care free with no responsibilities….. thank you universe so such an awesome childhood.

Day Eight: Death to Adverbs

Today’s Prompt: Go to a local café, park, or public place and write a piece inspired by something you see. Get detailed: leave no nuance behind.

On Sunday, April 12, 2015 the weather was perfect,  it was 16 degrees.  It has been a long, long, cold, cold winter.  I had been sick with bronchitis for more than 6 weeks. I was afraid after that to go out into the outdoors, which had so often been more than -25 with the wind chill. So each evening after i came home, i sat at my computer and just browsed the internet, with a hope that something would either inspire me, educate me or humour me.

i check out posts on facebook, i check out posts on linkedin and gmail. i listened to music  while shuffling back and forth trying to clean up at the same time.  Suddenly, there was a know at the door and i strutted to the door to check who had arrived.  I see it was the postman and he had brought me my favourite magazine.  I was excited, i shut the door and skipped with joy, back to the couch to read it.  It was a good day, a really good day.

Day Seven: Give and Take

Today’s Prompt: Write a post based on the contrast between two things — whether people, objects, emotions, places, or something else.

Today I am going to write about working on your relationship…..

The plot, Edgar and Jill have been married for a long time.  Jill is a good person, who works hard, loves her family very much.  Edgar who is also a wonderful person has had some experiences in life that have made him negative, hurt, bitter.  Jill always sees the positive, Edgar is very cautious about people and over analysis every behaviour.  They have recently attended a marriage renewal program and have received a book to work on together.  Life and circumstances have taken a toll on their relationship.  To name a few things that is bothering them:  they are feeling misunderstood, feeling alone, feeling rejected and feeling torn – do I stay or do I go they ask themselves. The book which they received in the renewal program is an opportunity for them to better their communication skills and thereby bring closeness in their relationship, here is an example.

“Edgar, please come here,” Jill said. “We need to spend time together, in prayer and work on our communication” 

Smiling Edgar says, “yeah , right! 

Jill says, ” I know, this feels so weird but if we want our marriage to have one more chance we have to give it a serious try

Ok Edgar says, let’s do the first exercise of this book.

Their hearts are racing, wondering what will unfold in the next few moments, they start with a prayer and open the booklet.  The first exercise says…… look into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes.

They both burst out laughing, that is easy, they think, but when they seriously try, it is not easy……

After the exercise Edgar, thinks it is silly, but Jill likes the feeling and says to Edgar, Edgar, that felt good, we should try it again tomorrow……

Day Six: A Character-Building Experience

Today’s Prompt: Who’s the most interesting person (or people) you’ve met this year?

Hello friends, welcome again to another session of blogging.

I have been blessed with thick black hair, that grows quickly and i need to have it cut every 5 weeks. I usually go to the First Choice Hair Cutters to get it cut.  For as long as i can remember, i have always worn my hair short and each time the answer to the question is the same when asked : and what would you like me to do today” “As many layers as you can give me and cut it short, take about an inch off”.  However, depending on who cuts my hair,  is it a left handed person? or is it a right handed person? is it a younger stylist? or an older person? the outcome is always different.

So on this particular day, a few months ago, after work i go in to get my hair cut.  After hanging my coat, i go up to the registration desk and a lady who has tatoo covered arms and legs, ask me the usual questions, what is your name? did you need a wash?  I give her the requested information and then she directs me to go right to her station.  I had never seen so many tatoos on a person.  Thoughts were racing in my mind, thinking of how opposed i was to my own children asking me for permission to get tatoos, how i reminded them that when tatoos were very visible, i felt it would be unprofessional, and might come in the way of them getting hired in a good company.  However, it was interesting to see all these drawings on this person  Lets call this person Emma.  Emma was a bit on the heavier side, she had long curly hair which was blond.  It had black highlights in it.  Again, my mind is racing and i whisper a prayer, “god please let this be a good hair cut”.  Emma adjusts my chair, puts the protector round my shoulders and asks the usual what would you like me to do today”  and my response is the usual “As many layers as you can give me and cut it short, take about an inch off”.

Emma starts cutting my hair, and starts making small talk, we pass some pleasantries, but then the topic drifts to children.  I tell her about my kids and then she starts telling me her story, and i was blown away.  Emma has three children, all below the age of 10, and two of the three are autistic.  My jaw drops, I guess it must have showed, because she immediately said, do not worry, i will make sure my children are self sufficenet just as i am.  Now i am truly curious and want to get to know this person more, i had judged her for the tatoos on her hand, but i was beginning to feel her strength and determination and was truly intrigued.  Emma proceeded to tell me that she grew up with learning disabilities.  However, she then proceeded to tell me about her mother, who was also a hair stylist insisted that on turning 16 Emma had to learn a trade, and she mentioned she was really hard on her, but at the end of the course, Emma came out with flying colours and has been working ever since as a hair stylist.  She then tells me that this is just her part time job and she is also a personal support worker.  My jaw really drops.  I just say wow!.

At age 21 Emma got pregnant and her mother, once again insisted that just being a hair dresser would not be enough to support the family, so she insisted that Emma sign up for a personal support worker class.  Because of Emma’s learning disabilities, the mother signed up for the class as well, just so she could help Emma study.  Thanks to her mother’s help, Emma aced the class.  Now comes baby number two and this child is autistic, then in a few years baby number three and autistic.  I am listening with tears in my eyes.  How unfair life is.  How do you cope.  She goes on to tell me all her coping strategies, but also how she had changed this negative into a positive.  

She said that she has refused to put these children into a special school, but has put them in a regular school while being able to secure one on one training.  She mentioned all the things they do together and how at the end of each day, she asks them one question…. are you happy, if she gets the answer in the positive, she feels that it was a good day.

She started a facebook group when she blogs i guess her daily challenges and how she overcomes them, she was very proud to tell me, how her stories have helped other mothers cope and how she gets strength and courage from this blog. I kept listening in awe, at this women, gave her my few words of encouragement and thanked the universe silently for reminding me, never to judge someone by their appearance, because you never know their story unless you take time to listen for in the words of Alan Alda “Listening is being able to be changed by the other person.”

Cheers! to a strong women Emma and a loving mother.

Don’t give up on faith…, hope… and love… for spring will come….

Dormant, Not Dead.

healthy lunch idea

My daughter is on a health trip.  Here was her lunch for today…..quick, easy, simple and healthy.

150412 healthy lunch Read the rest of this entry »